Trust and (Dis)obey
I was recently discussing sermons with my husband’s grandmother that had spoken to our hearts in depth. She said two words that I have heard nearly all my life.
Trust and Obey.
She was giving me pieces of the sermon her pastor had taught on the power of trusting and obeying. More so, how the two go one in one with another.
I am suddenly convicted and touched by these words in a way I had never experienced.
There are seasons where trusting God is a struggle. Any season I have struggled to trust, He has never failed to bring me the people I needed most to intercede trust and walk with me in those hard places. However, I feel like every season will test our obedience.
Subconscious prayers:
“I trust you have a plan for us Lord, but until then, I’m going to keep my guard up and resist him, because right now, he isn’t deserving of my love. Oh, but I trust you will change that.”
“I trust that one day my husband will love me in a Christ like way, but until that day, I am going to fill that void with comfort food, social media, and girl talks degrading our husbands to make me feel more justified. But, Lord, I really do trust you in this.”
Guilty. And, to be honest, those are probably the nice versions. Trust and (dis)obey. Not at all what God has called from us. My little insert into that phrase has brought me great hindrance along the way. How about you? Have you trusted God had greater things in store but chose to handle the waiting period on your terms?
A little over a year ago, my husband and I were deep in the valley of the shadow of death, or so it felt. I was struggling just to breathe and function. The pain was so real that I couldn’t imagine what restoration would look like. Had God not prepared me through a very personal journal entry just the week before, I might have even struggled to trust. But he knows, friend. Through His provision and preparation, somehow, I chose to trust Him. The Meaghan in me desired to run as far as the east is from the west.
Had I not been obedient to His leading, I would have not been able to experience the beauty and blessing in my marriage today. I didn’t stay because it was comfortable. Nor did it come without a few sleepless nights, and many tears. However, I stayed because God asked that of me and promised a hope and a future in our marriage.
Hope and Healing through Trusting and Obeying.
I could not have experienced one without the other.
Jesus, I am not aware of every need today. Thankfully, you are. Just as you were aware of my very personal need some time ago. I confess, I didn’t desire to obey you, because that was hard and uncomfortable and what you were calling me to didn’t seem fair in my world.
I chose to obey you. The fear was shouting. The pain was debilitating. Too often, we claim to trust you have something greater to come from our sufferings, but we lack obedience to you through the process. I trust you will meet my friend right where she is. If she is struggling to trust, surround her with people who can intercede trust for her until she’s there again. I trust that you will speak directly to her where her lack of obedience is hindering most. Whether it be a bad attitude, the silent treatment, an emotional or physical affair, retail therapy; convict and comfort her. I pray you be her safe place. And that she and I together can choose to exchange the hinderances of “Trust and (dis)Obey” with the promise and power of “Trust and Obey”. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.
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