Thirsty Thursday: Luke 6:42
As I pursue this blog ministry, I never want to create the misunderstanding as though I’m the good guy and my husband is the bad guy. Nor do I want the struggling wife that may be reading to form some sort of self-righteous belief of her lacking nothing and her husband lacking everything.
Through our beginning years, subconsciously my head grew beyond the thought that I had any fault in our relationship. My husband was so self-destructive, his choices were breaking the hearts of many people who loved and cared about him. Therefore, many of our friends and family would urge me to leave. People would say the kids and I deserved better and didn’t deserve such neglect. Which was all true. He didn’t deserve me to stand by him through times that I did or to have a family to come home to after hours of not knowing where he was. He didn’t deserve any of those things.
I didn’t deserve a Savior loving me when I claimed I didn’t believe for a season. I didn’t deserve grace when I was pulled over one night for being under the influence of alcohol with my two sons in the car and having my dad come drive us home. I didn’t deserve a step dad who accepted my kids and I like his own to live with he and my mom for a season while never offering to help pay one bill because I was consumed in my own circumstances. I didn’t deserve to be forgiven by the people who’s hearts I trampled on in the beginning of our relationship. I didn’t deserve to be the mama of such precious little boys who had to be a part of the deeply dark places of my journey. For the provision and protection in those seasons, I will ever praise my Savior who has so undeservingly kept his vow to me and continued to love me beyond all comprehension.
You see, I was a good person with a good heart. But I was lost. I had severely gotten off track somewhere along the way. That’s how I began to see my husband.
A good man with a good heart who was lost and had severely gotten off track somewhere along the way. We were both in need of a Savior to heal the brokeness inside of us.
We are now thriving in much healthier places of our lives as individuals and spouses but clearly we still fall short.
Recently, my husband asked me to pray for him about something specific and he then added, “Oh and while you’re praying, you need to pray for your hothead.” with a semi-serious smile. It’s true. He keeps a level head over hard things much better than I. I struggle with fear of defeat so I panic if it feels like life is falling apart when really it’s just an off day for all of us.
The plank in my eye that needs removed when I tend to be trying so hard to remove the one in his.
Are you a hothead? Keep your cool for days on end then it’s like a volcano erupts? Are you a nagger? Trying to change circumstances by your words and manipulative tactics? Are you sweet and patient with others and bitter and impatient with your spouse? Whatever your plank might be, be encouraged that God’s Word says if we remove the plank from our own eye, we will see clearly to remove the speck from his eye. If we love our man enough to stand by him through his struggles, we need to love ourselves enough to deal with our own first so that we may be a better vessel in his life.
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