When it’s Not so Warm and Fuzzy

Marriage.

I used to believe it was all warm and fuzzy and that mine was hopeless.

Work, wasn’t a word I associated with creating a good marriage, and mine had few warm and fuzzies. Instead, I had four years of marriage heartache in large doses. In fact, had we been less concerned with what other people thought, we would’ve called the wedding off a week before it happened. That was our beginning.

But God had bigger plans.

I don’t have that “we were so in love” story. I loved him, sure, but for all the wrong reasons. I’m sure he would say the same. By God’s grace, we can testify that God performs miracles…why? Because we’re still together.

A few years ago, we attempted marriage counseling. One attempt might I add. We were so toxic to each other. I vividly remember one portion of the counselor’s attempt to break ground. She first asked my husband one thing he liked or admired about me. Anything. After a few seconds of silence, his response was, “Nothing.” She worked in some thought provoking questions and he then said,” Well, she’s a good mother.”

For a while that first response stuck with me. (Satan’s plan to destroy me, destroy us) Do I really have such little worth? Is there any point in loving and investing in someone who doesn’t love you back? I struggled myself to love him in that season. It was the divine nature of God that kept us.

A few weeks ago, as we were driving home, my husband opened up his heart to me in the most sincere and heartfelt way. He shared his love for me and his gratefulness of our marriage. It was deep and sacred. I pray that God not only planted that conversation in my heart but the hearts of our little ones who were listening. For someone who married me then couldn’t find one thing he loved much less liked about me to the same man affirming how deep rooted his love for me now is. It’s truly a miracle, friend. I believe in those kinds of miracles because I’ve lived it and still am.

Easy? Far from it. Worth it? In every way.

But here’s the good news…my marriage wilderness paved the way for me to serve you. My heart hurts in the deepest way for how our society has portrayed marriage as this burdensome thorn in our lives. I hope to be a vessel for change in that area…showing you a different way.

I surrender all that I am for all that Christ has, and hope he’ll use me in even the simplest of ways as we transform how we operate in our marriages…broken or healed. There’s always room for improvement.

Have you been hurt beyond repair?
Have you been the cause of hurting someone else?
Have you been unfaithful? Or lived through unfaithfulness?
Have you struggled with pride?Selfishness?

I have good news.

There is no one…NO ONE…beyond the repair or restoration of Jesus

Let’s bring our hearts together and see what happens when we pursue what I like to call…the lovely exchange.