The Beauty in Missing the Benchmark

 

As I begin to write, I look at my beautiful baby girl asleep next to me. There’s a gentleness about her that calms me from the inside out.

She was 22 months before she said “mama” for the first time.

Each time my other children first spoke that word, I cherished the moment. There is something unique about this time, however. One reason being, she is our last. This is the last time we will be in a season of first words. Even more, I had to wait. From time to time, I would get caught in the trap of comparison and see babies as young as 6 months old already speaking mama and other simple words.

All but my first son were late talkers so I wasn’t worried. I have 4 other chatterboxes; I was in no extreme hurry. By her 18 month checkup, she still had yet to say any words. She understood them when spoken to her, but no success of repeating them. Her pediatrician advised some Early Intervention assuring me she felt everything was fine and only needed a little boost to get going. My mama heart began to panic a little silently.

The beauty in it all? God already had it worked out. We met with a therapist for an intake evaluation to see if she qualified. The very night we got home she spoke three different words which shifted gears in our hearts completely knowing then she wasn’t in need of an intervention.

As I watch my newest little chatterbox take a break to sleep, I ponder how many times she spoke mama today and how each time was like a drop of honey to my soul. Our timing isn’t always God’s timing, but it is always perfect timing. The period of waiting had me anxious at times. My mind would unravel to fearful and greatly unnecessary places.

She recently turned 2 and says an abundance of words and phrases. Had she begun at 8 or 9 months, it would have been special, but an ordinary kind of special rather extraordinary. I was prepared to take my own initiative and just then, God said, “No, I’ve got this. I’ve actually had it all along.”

Timing that was misunderstood. Purpose that was unseen.

Marriage can be quite similar. Does your marriage feel developmentally delayed? Financially, spiritually, emotionally? I look at the benchmarks of other marriages and see we haven’t ever been in the “normal range”. I have misunderstood God’s timing for the surety we needed intervention to get the ball rolling when God had unseen purpose all along. Holding hands driving down the road or a simple hug and kiss when my husband comes in from work are extraordinary moments that without the struggle may have only become ordinary moments by now.

Does your mind tend to unravel to fearful and unnecessary places? Do you find yourself anxious in the waiting period? Are you using the methods of this world to create your own intervention? Our Redeemer, Healer, and Savior wants you to know He’s got this. He’s actually had it all along. When our circumstances seem to be within the benchmark of this world’s statistics, we tend to think we aren’t in need of the one who died on the cross, for us to be here in the first place. However, when we are delayed in our developments, our hearts become hungry for something greater than ourselves and we get the beauty of experiencing one on one encounters with our King that we wouldn’t trade for any normal benchmark any more than I would trade waiting 22 months to hear “mama” for the first time from my last, but not least beautiful baby girl.

the lovely exchange:

seeking this world’s benchmarks for marriage that leave you in a trap of comparison and defeat

exchanged for

seeking God’s benchmark for His glory and purpose in your marriage that ignite hope and bring peace to a weary soul

Disclaimer: There are specific circumstances I do believe require intervention of some sort. However, I feel God will lead you to that if you are seeking His will. I chose to take the initiative without seeking Him in prayer first.